Britney vs Spears has 'first world problem' written all over it. “Britney is no longer a free person. She has no basic human rights. She can't write a check or have a credit card.” Boo hoo, cry me a f---ing river. To be fair, though, Britney had nothing to do with this pseudocumentary, nor does she appear in it other than by way of archival footage. This film is not only frivolous, but also sloppy — it feels, at…