Now I did quite enjoy "John Carter" with Taylor Kitsch from 2012 but yikes what have they done to the story here? Antonio Sabato Jr in the "Carter" role makes Kitsch look like Marlon Brando. He's just dreadful. To be fair, the third-rate CGI doesn't help, nor does the pretty awful script or the fact that he is clearly there (shirt off) to complement the even less glorious talents of the eponymous character (Dejah…

**_The ‘B’ version of “John Carter”_** When a “jarhead” is injured in Afghanistan (Antonio Sabato Jr), he is used in a teleportation experiment and transferred to a planet in the Alpha Centauri stellar system. Due to the lower gravity, he has the ability to leap great distances and earns the respect of his captors, the Tharks. After meeting a human-like princess (Traci Lords), she leads them to an air-purifying…

Asylum tries, poorly I love the books by REB. I do. The Disney version (John Carter) isn't a good visual representation of that story. This is worse. So much worse. It is cheap, tacky (not just the way it looks, but how it focuses on gross stuff for a cheap laugh, uses a Leia Slave costume for our female protagonist, and so on) and just a bit soulless. It is HARD to transform these stories into cinema. REB had a…