There are films that are so bad they’re good. Then there are films that are simply bad. And then, right at the bottom of the barrel, there are films that aren’t merely bad but deeply offensive. *Ice Cream Man* is what Eli Roth has scraped from beneath that barrel. Remember *Hostel*? One of Roth’s earliest films, it caused such a furore that it helped popularise an entire subgenre: “torture porn”. Yet, for all its…

I was hoping *Ice Cream Man* would be a fun piece of schlock, and there was some of that in the film. Sadly, *Ice Cream Man* was a one-joke movie that rammed it hard into the ground. Eli Roth's mean-spirited nature was present in the film, and it felt uncomfortable watching very young children commit violent acts, and a joke involving a 12-year-old girl's eating disorder. Also, fuck generative…

Oh, now come on - who hasn't enjoyed delicious Mint Romney ice cream? Unfortunately, there is a side effect if you feed it to our children - it turns them into marauding murderers intent on killing every adult they see whether they be parent, guardian, granny or teacher. Luckily, though, "Jared" (Charlie Zelzter) is lactose intolerant and his sister "Lizzie" (Sarah Abbott) won't let him have any. Phew! That leaves…